Television
by stelena1981
Summary: This is totally AU. I assume 2.22 didn't happen as it did in the show and that Damon wasn't bitten and Stefan didn't get the bloodlust. Then again, this could happen after all that and the status quo was put back into place. Choose your adventure, dude.


On the fourteenth consecutive day of officially living together, Stefan bought a television. Not just because Damon kept yammering at him to buy one ("Stefan, mortals like to watch _To Catch a Predator_ and _Law and Order_. Can we finally move this place into the 21st century?") or because he tired of watching _Being Human _on his computer.  
>He got the television so that he could have normal boring evenings on the couch with his girlfriend. There was something about sitting on a piece of furniture watching a box stream pictures through a tube that made Stefan feel ordinary.<p>

That he was able to feel that way with Elena next to him? Perfection.

The day it was delivered, Elena was out spending the day with Bonnie and Caroline. Those plans had been set for awhile but if she were honest, staying out of the war between Damon and Stefan that determined whose approach to setting up the television would succeed would have pushed her out the door regardless.

"Stefan, pick your battles. Look. Watch me. I'm staying out of this. Thus not picking a battle. I love you. Good luck. Don't set each other on fire. See you tonight." And after a quick kiss on the cheek she walked out the door.

Miraculously, somehow the brothers managed to put aside their squabbles in the name of a 60 inch 3-d LED flat screen television with internet capabilities. Stefan even thought he could place phone calls on the thing it was so blessed and amazing. Both were so enamored by the box, they even managed to agree on where to mount the screen for best viewing.

By the time Elena arrived home and walked into the den, Stefan already had the cable guy come out (a little compulsion for the sake of not waiting 8 hours for a 45 minute service wasn't unethical or immoral, was it? What about if he gave the dude a $50 tip?) set up the cable AND give him a free trial to the NFL network. And that's where she found him.

And Damon.  
>And Alaric.<br>And Jeremy.  
>And Matt.<br>And Tyler.

And the cable guy named Frank. All silently congregating around the television as if worshiping at its altar. All fully engaged with the beautiful picture it displayed and the slow motion functions that allowed Stefan to show and narrate complete with visual reenactment his favorite moments from Super Bowl XLII.

They all seemed entranced with the game and Stefan's voiceover (even Damon) so Elena just moved around them and quickly and discreetly slid into Stefan's lap, careful not to block the signal between the remote and the television. God forbid she were responsible for interfering with his showing off.

"Hey," she whispered into his ear her hand gently covertly caressing his hair. He took his eyes off the screen and looked at her with a big smile. "Hey," he returned. She kissed him quickly and took the beer he held in his free hand from him, taking a sip.

"The tv looks great Stefan."

"Ahh...thanks. Do—"

"Shh. Stefan, I'm here to enjoy the game with you guys. Continue on with the showboating," she said smiling at him and loving how happy he looked. His contentment radiated off him.

She'd happily settle in for weekends of football parties if he could stay this way. Of course it helped that she liked football and had just as many opinions as the boys did about the best moments.

A few days later, Damon was out handling Council business with Sheriff Forbes, while Stefan and Elena decided to spend the day together in the mansion-watching the television. Both had thought it unpractical to spend the entire day in bed-although it took them a while to actually see that thought through and leave their warm little sanctuary.

They needed this break. The days had become hectic once again, this time with a new danger come to town in the form of a girl Stefan dated 65 years ago. Neither felt like dealing with her drama today and while Elena was pretty unconcerned about the girl's hold on Stefan (if Katherine was not a factor this bitch surely wasn't) Stefan wanted to reinforce his commitment to Elena. So he proposed that they stay home to shower her with some devotion.

Sitting on the couch covered in blankets, they watched reality shows ,sitcoms, and animal shows. "Stefan, how could you miss something as epic as Shark Week?"

"Elena, have you seen a shark? They're not that epic."

As the hours passed, the commentary continued. Mostly Stefan's commentary. Mostly Stefan's snobby commentary. And the commentary that lead to stories about his past.

"What do you mean dogs talk to him?"

"Gene Simmons has a show? I was a part of the KISS Army in '75. Those guys put on a great show."

"Stefan, you're showing your age."

"(scoffs) Well, I'd guess it be showing my age if I told you that I dated his wife."

"WHAT?"

"1982. Miss November. Not my favorite."

"I don't think I like having to compete with a Playmate Stefan. "

"No competition, 'Lena. You win every time."

Between episodes of Dr. Phil and Ellen, a simple kiss on the cheek during one of those strange Geico commercials grew into a full blown make out, with hands groping for bare skin underneath the blankets. Which lead to hands in pants and gasping and the kinds of heavy breathing that indicate more is to come.

Which led to vigorous couch sex. And floor sex. And window sex.

Breathlessly trying to catch her breath, Elena sat up and rubbed at her carpet burned knees.

"Does it hurt"?

"A little. It's your fault. You should fix it."

Never one to miss an opportunity to be playful, he rose up from his place next to her, reached for her leg and gently tugged it over to him so that he could kiss her knee.

"Better"?

She was red from blushing. "Mmhmm. You have a magic touch, Stefan Salvatore."

"Indeed I do," he says, kissing her as he slowly stroked her inner thighs and coaxed them open. "I bet the right touch will make you forget all about this little burn."  
>Some time later, just as Elena moved her hips atop Stefan's in a manner that made her about to explode, Damon burst through the living room, muttering something about<em>Storage Wars<em>. Neither Stefan nor Elena heard him, solely focused on what was happening right then, so when Damon taps Stefan on the shoulder as he is in mid-groan, it comes as a shock. Elena, screams and then screams from being caught in a compromising position.

"DAMON. GET. OUT. What do you think you're doing?"

"It's time for _Storage Wars_. It's not a good idea to do the deed in the tv room, guys. It's rude. And I'm about to miss my show."

Stefan, who is trying to remain calm even though he is totally still hard and was nearly about to climax, quickly gathers quilts and covers himself and Elena.

"Damon, we set the Tivo remember? It's already recording."

"It better be."

Rather than fight, he picks Elena up and carries her up the stairs to their bedroom to finish what they started.

And Damon finds his spot on the couch and watches his show while cancelling out the shouts he hears upstairs.

Not long after that, Damon issues a code of ethics for the Television Room—namely, no sex in the Television Room

By the 30th consecutive day of living together, Stefan and Elena had established a routine for the Television room. One would watch a show and the other would watch too or read a book or do homework. Inevitably, Stefan would have Elena's legs in his lap as they went about their routine.

Sometimes they'd have watching parties with the gang and they found themselves sitting on opposite sides of the couch, separated by their friends.

Neither had felt so normal in a long time. Elena had never been so happy about a damn television because it gave her a family.

And, on the rare occasion, they still had sex in the Television room. They just made sure it was on Damon's off TV day.


End file.
